Last night I went to a mate’s place for drinks and over indulged and comaed out in their bathroom. It is pretty much a guarantee that if you coma you are going to wake up the next morning minus your eyebrows.
So early this morning I woke up on my mate’s couch (I had been dragged from the bathroom to the couch). It was still dark and the flat was quiet so I guessed they were still in town. I could feel that there was something hairy taped to my upper lip. As I was naked it didn’t take me long to realise what had happened.
My mates had stripped me naked and shaved off my pubic and armpit hair. They had rolled the hair up like a moustache and had taped it to my lip. I also had large penises and noughts and crosses drawn all over me.
When they had finished their fun they were nice enough to put a blanket over me. They were all disappointed that they weren’t there to see me wake up as I had showered by the time they got home from town. It is pretty gross to wake up with your own pubic and armpit hair taped to your face but I would think it would be grosser to touch someone else’s pubic hair.
Post Date:December 3, 2007, Category:Gross Author: Stan, Comments (0).
My fiance and I had been out one night with friends. We had been eating some spicy food and drinking a few Mickies.
We decided that it was time to head home shortly after everyone had calmed down. Once we got home, we headed straight for the bedroom. We started with a lot of kissing and feeling until we eventually got into the position where we could pleasure each other orally.
We were really starting to get into each other when I was about to orgasm. Suddenly, my fiance buried his face in me and the next thing I kew, I farted this horrible, deathly fart right in his face.
I didn’t mean to, but it happened. He jumped like a scared cat. Straight up and over. Then he stopped and looked at me and asked me if I felt better. I didn’t, because all I could think of was finding somewhere to hide. I will never forget this moment because it was sooo embarrassing!!
This happened about ten years ago. At the time I was dating a model, and she had just come from an all day photo shoot, and she was hungry, so went went to Taco Bell to get something to eat.
She was still in her outfit, and she was wearing those “dolphin” shorts that don’t leave much to the imagination. So while she was busy looking at the menu, I was standing behind her checking out what I had that everybody else wanted… and I noticed a white string hanging from her black shorts.
So me being the good guy that I am, I reached down and yanked on the string, and all of a sudden she screamed out loud and
doubled over in pain. Everybody in the place turned around and looked at me like I had hit her. It turned out that it was that time of the month, and the string was from her tampon! Talk about making an ass out of yourself in public!
Submitted by somebody who wishes to remain anonymous (I wonder why?)
One night I went out partying with my friends, and we drank one too many Long Island Ice Teas.
The next day I woke up with the runs. I had to be at work at 7:00, but in order to beat traffic I used to like to get there an hour early. So I got up at 4:30 AM and got to work by 5:30 AM, but I had a bad case of the runs from the night before.
So when I got to work, I could turn the lights on to our suite, but the lights to the lobby and the general public didn’t turn on until 6:00 AM, and it was dark at the time. Still, I had to go and I had to go bad, so I went out into the lobby and made my way to the restroom, and I went to the very corner stall because that’s the one I usually use.
So I sat there and did my business, and I managed to get it all out…but when it came time to flush the toilet, it wouldn’t flush. So I sat there and tinkered with it a few times, but it still wouldn’t go, and that’s when I decided to get up and see what was wrong.
When my eyes got adjusted to the darkness, I noticed a four-inch hole in the floor, and a toolbox sitting right next to the toilet… that’s when I realized that the toilet was in the process of being repaired. I got the hell out of
there as quickly as I could!
When my boss came in, he asked me if I had seen anyone strange in the building, because there was one sick
person roaming around the building and security was looking for him. Of course I couldn’t say anything.
I wonder how that poor janitor must have felt once he got to work!
I was once on a flight from Auckland, New Zealand to a small town way down on the extreme souther tip of the South Island called Invercargill.
The plane I was flying in was very old propellar driven thing, I think it was a C47 Goonie Bird.
The toilet was certainly not designed for a guy my size because the bowl was against the far wall, but the ceiling curved backwards. I found myself leaning way back like I was doing the limbo and trying to urinate at the same time.
Being a propellar driven plane, we hit a bit of turbulance. Because I was leaning backwards so much, put my left hand behind me to brace myself against the door and continued to urinate.
My left hand accidentally hit the door latch and I fell backwards into the aisle and every passenger turned around to see me laying in the aisle with my penis in my hand and I could not stop urinating for the life of me.
I got back into the toilet and composed myself. After another 10 minutes, i returned to my seat and everyone started to applaud.
One old man thanked me for the funiest sight he had seen in all of his life.
I have never returned to New Zealand since.
Post Date:April 30, 2007, Category:Gross Author: Oliver, Comments (0).
One night at my best friend’s house, right before her 16th birthday party, her family and I were sitting down eating a nice dinner that included beans. After dinner my best friend and I were laughing and talking about how the beans were probably going to affect us later that night.
Hours later the party started and everything was going great. My best friend had invited all the hottest guys in school, including the one I had a crush on at the time. Just as we had said, the beans surprisingly did hit me.
While running to tell my best friend about my situation, I felt the farts coming on strongly. As I told her, she laughed and told me to use the guest bathroom downstairs.
When I finally made it to the restroom, I sat down in relief. I took my time assuming that no one knew I was in there. I completed my dirty job and flushed the toilet. I noticed that one of my logs was extremly long and was clogging the toilet.
The water in the toilet was rising and I was getting scared. I ran out of the bathroom to get my best friend, but as I opened the door my crush was standing right there! I came to find out that he had overheard me asking my friend what restroom to use and he had followed me so he could use it aswell.
We met eye to eye and he asked me why I was in such a hurry. By that time I was red as the punch that was being served, and knew that my vicious odor was OUT!!! Neither of us said anything for a few seconds, then he quickly suggested that he would go get my friend.
As soon as he turned the corner, I ran to my car and left the party, HUMILIATED.
Later the next day I called my best friend and explained the story. She laughed about it and told me that a couple of guys, including my crush, had stayed after the party to help fix the clogged toilet.
The most embarrasing moment of my life happened when I was in the ninth grade. We were all in health class and everyone was just sitting around quietly or sitting with their head down on the desk, because it was the end of the year and we were all relaxing.
Everything was quiet when I bent over because I had dropped the pencil I was doodling with. I didn’t even feel it coming… the loudest boom wave ever heard. My nightmare: I farted in my classroom in front of everyone.
All of a sudden everyone was looking in my direction. They still didn’t know exactly where it came from, and I was hoping they wouldn’t ever find out. I had to think quick, so I blamed it on the girl next to me. Everyone believed me, until the moment when I thought I would die.
First I was laughing with everyone else. But as soon as I did, an even louder fart came out and again I didn’t even feel it coming. And all of a sudden I felt a pain… it was diarrhea.
Luckily no one heard that one with all the laughing going on, but I got up to go to the trashcan and everyone started laughing at me. When I had farted not just gas had come out, and now it was all over the back of my white shorts.
“A big doodoo spot!” this boy kept shouting out, pointing at me. This boy just kept saying “Ooh, gross! She has shit on the back of her shorts!”
Boy was I glad it was the end of the year. I guess God punished me for lying on the girl next to me.
I have always had a serious gastric problem, so whenever I absolutely couldn’t hold it, I would try and make a joke, like the old “pull my finger” trick, so as to divert the embarrassment.
One day after a shower, with just a towel on, I went into my room to get dressed. My boyfriend was in the room as I dropped my towel and felt a fart coming on. While hiking up my leg to flatulate I said, “This is how much I love you” at the same time I dropped a big ol’ crap on the floor.
At that moment, we just stared in horror and disbelief with our jaws agape! I absolutely could not, in the farthest reaches of my brain, believe I had just dropped a load on the floor in front of my boyfriend!!I screamed, “Don’t look at it!” and jumped into bed and hid under the covers.
I just wanted to evaporate into thin air!! Hence, I aquired the name Pooh Girl!
Admit it… at least once in your life you thought you’d secretly and quietly let out a fart, only for some jerk to yell, “damn, what died in here? Did you just fart?”
Don’t you hate that?
Or what about the most lethal of all farts, the liquid fart? You know, when you think you’re farting and -surprise- there’s a little something extra in your panties. Whoopsie!
No, no, don’t pretend this kind of thing has never happened to you! We all know it did. Admit it!
I was once on a flight from Auckland, New Zealand to a small town way down on the extreme souther tip of the South Island called Invercargill.
