As very few of you know, I have several websites that I maintain and some of them involve research and publishing every day, one of them is my village wide famous blog of offbeat news and uncommon facts (I even have a promo poster in the local post office!). Anyway, My dad phoned me today because I emailed him an article about his second cousin getting signed to play for Manchester United (a football team on trafford park or something). He was talking and mentioned that I sounded distracted, so I replied that yes, actually, I was on the blog and having trouble getting stuff down. He just hung up on me and ten minutes later I was still wondering why when mother rang me, without hesitation she suggested I eat some figs or prunes and contact my doctor. I hate my family.
Alright, today at my job, I was sitting at my stool talking to a coworked and There was no buisness so we were just chatting the whole time. well, I had to get up and bend over to pick up a bin off the floor, and my pants slipped down on my ass (they are those tight black jazz dance pants we have to wear for work) and he was staring straght at my polka-dotted panties and started rubbing himself. and when I got up, my panties bunched up, and he kept rubbing himself.
How do I know?? The manager called us into the back and showed us what the security camera had just recorded. All on tape. I was so mortified its not even funny. And it sucks, because I thought he liked me for my person, and All week, he had just been staring at my ass or tits (my manager told me about this, but couldnt prove it to me through videobecause they are sent to the man security office at closing) all the time. He got fired for sexual…something not harrassment, but something else, and for stealing stuff. I dont knw if hes getting sued, but he did get fired, and now i have more hours.
Last night I went to a mate’s place for drinks and over indulged and comaed out in their bathroom. It is pretty much a guarantee that if you coma you are going to wake up the next morning minus your eyebrows.
So early this morning I woke up on my mate’s couch (I had been dragged from the bathroom to the couch). It was still dark and the flat was quiet so I guessed they were still in town. I could feel that there was something hairy taped to my upper lip. As I was naked it didn’t take me long to realise what had happened.
My mates had stripped me naked and shaved off my pubic and armpit hair. They had rolled the hair up like a moustache and had taped it to my lip. I also had large penises and noughts and crosses drawn all over me.
When they had finished their fun they were nice enough to put a blanket over me. They were all disappointed that they weren’t there to see me wake up as I had showered by the time they got home from town. It is pretty gross to wake up with your own pubic and armpit hair taped to your face but I would think it would be grosser to touch someone else’s pubic hair.
Morale at HM Revenue and Customs is “so low that employees want punchbags, squeeze balls and aromatherapy”, the Conservatives have said.
A discussion website run by HMRC workers, which has been taken offline, contained the demands from staff.
Tory frontbencher Philip Hammond said there was a “crisis of management and leadership”, as seen in the recent loss of 25 million child benefit records.
But an HMRC spokesman refused to comment on the claims.
The website, called Disgruntled Lemmings, has now been taken offline, but the Tories have obtained cached pages of postings via Google.
‘Head massage’
On them, one member of staff lists their demands.
One is for stress balls: “A cheap idea, these could be placed on every desk within easy reach for people to squeeze away the tension after dealing with an awkward caller or a difficult piece of post.”
Another is: “A punchbag could be kept in a staff room/chillout area for those on breaks to take out their frustrations on.”
The contributor also says HMRC “could consider offering discounts for stress-relieving therapies such as Indian head massage, aromatherapy and reflexology”.
A separate visitor to the site writes: “I like the idea of ExCom [executive committee]-modelled punchbags… Imagine how much fitter we’d all be!”
It was revealed last week that two CDs containing 25 million child benefit records had gone missing after being put in the internal post by an HMRC worker.
Mr Hammond, shadow chief secretary to the Treasury, said: “Is it any wonder that such a catastrophic lapse of data security has occurred, when staff morale at HM Revenue and Customs is at rock bottom?
“There is clearly a crisis of management and leadership at HMRC which has allowed systemic failures to occur.”
An HMRC spokesman said: “It’s not our website. I’m not going to comment on a non-HMRC website.”
